Mistakes.

Salvadore Dali said, "Mistakes are almost always of a sacred nature. Never try to correct them. On the contrary: rationalize them, understand them thoroughly. After that, it will be possible for you to sublimate them." 

I didn't have Dali's perspective on mistakes till a few days ago when I sat and reflected on a number of my latest mistakes. Now I'm sitting here pondering the sacred nature of my mistakes. Sacred, really? It was my destiny to make these mistakes... They were a test to make me stronger. Or a lesson to make me grow? Or maybe both. Or neither? A punishment, perhaps? Karma - for something I did in a year ago, or in another lifetime... I don't know.

I skip around years in my mind... trying to remember feelings, thoughts, people, moments... and for every single mistake I remember I have the surety that I never tried to correct a single one. I only remember recognizing my mistakes and doing better afterward. Because real mistakes can't be corrected. If you can correct a mistake, then it wasn't a mistake at all... it was just a badly managed moment or circumstance which you rectified and made good again.
Mistakes in principal don't work this way. You have to live with them till you die. They're kind of like tattoos, etched into you, a little piece of the whole that makes you You.

Rationalize them? This is even harder than the idea that a mistake can be corrected. Not that I could ever figure out how people fix things of that proportion. Like broken glass. You can glue it back together but you might cut your hands in the process... and the glass will look different, nor will it ever serve its original purpose. So can we agree, fixing a mistake is a mistake too?

It's not possible: there just isn't any rationale behind some things we do, or are capable of doing, there is no logical explanation for the person we become at certain points in our life, the triggers, the drivers inside us are so unknown to us that we act completely out of character, defy the patterns which make up our entire life's trajectory, cancel out the values we claim to live by, break the boundaries we hold so high.
The only rationale is to be brave enough to admit - I am human.

I've seen people blame mistakes on their childhood, on some emotional parental residue, on lack of finances, or having too much money... it's a long, dull, unimaginative, endless list. A list of excuses. A list to shift the responsibility. When in truth you did what you did because you wanted to do it. Period. Be honest. The thing about telling the truth is, it doesn't make sense. It has the power to hurt people. It has the potential to get you into trouble. Which is why we try so hard to rationalize our mistakes.
But... there is no logic in truth.
Truth is truth.
That's it.

Why do people want to be the victim despite being the villain, why do they want that sort of sympathy after making a mistake which they were fully aware they were making?
I read "Understand them thoroughly" and Carl Jung pops into my head with "Understanding does not cure evil..." 

My best teacher is my last mistake.
Who is yours?

The Story of Me

Someone asked me "What's your story?"

And my whole story came flooding to my mind. 

I don't think about it often, but I never forget it either. 

It's my root, my core, and all of me, every molecule, every facet stems from there. And it's such a long story, with so many people, in so many places. 

But that's not important. 

What's important is, my story has always inspired me. I've never been disappointed by my story. 

By events in my life, sure, disappointment is part of life. But the whole story is just amazing. 

From the baby girl who was born in February during a snowstorm in Quetta at an Army hospital, to the woman I am today. I've seen so much of life, some of it I never want to see again. And other moments which move me with such blinding feelings, of love, of a Higher Power, of the goodness of people, of Karma.

My earliest memory is when I was (maybe) 5. 

It's not summer yet. Karachi afternoon. I'm in the backyard at my grandfather's house. It looks like miles and miles of grass, even though it's just an ordinary garden. But I guess everything seems exaggerated when you're little. I'm wearing a red sweater, with a monkey's face on it. The monkey is blue and yellow. He has plastic eyes. The kind with a white base and transparent cover, with a small round black disc inside which moves when you move. My aunt who's just started college comes out. She's so beautiful. She's holding a silver, shiny, round steel bowl. "Michi, dekho meine kya banaya hai!"

I'm so excited, I think it's food.

I look at the bowl and it looks like watery mud, the kind that's on the side of the lawn after it rains. "Mujhe nahin khana..."

She laughs and looks even more beautiful, then sits on the veranda steps. Puts the bowl on her side, and reaches out to take me into her arms. I love hugs, I go willingly. I notice there are sticks in the mud in the bowl. She makes me sit on her leg and takes a stick out of the mud. Then takes my hand and starts drawing on it with the muddy stick. I try to pull my hand back but she tells me not to and I listen. She promises me something amazing will happen, I believe her. Some time later, a drawing of the monkey on my shirt is on my palm. I am mesmerized by it. I didn't know then, but that mud in the bowl was Henna.

And this memory has nothing to do with the whole story, the amazing story of my life, the story which inspires me, which inspires me every day, and makes me who I am. 

Life Lessons, 2016

“Time has a wonderful way to show us what really matters.” 

- Margaret Peters

Here are 5 lessons I learned this year as life happened to me.

Keep your people. 

The people you'd fight for. The people who make up your life, your day, your existence. The people who are your people. The people you'd take to war with you, the ones you bet on and the ones you will protect with everything you have in you. The people you love in every sense of the word, and who love you unconditionally. They've seen you at your worst. Keep them close, love them, tell them you love them. Do it often.

No one is God. 

Don't waste your time and energy trying to impress people. Don't do anything to impress anyone. You don't need to do that, they don't care and it doesn't help you in any way. Focus on being yourself. Be yourself. Be honest, and kind, and do good things as often as you can. Be a better version of yourself every single day. 

Feelings don't need permission. 

You don't need to ask people whether you can love them, miss them, dream of them. You can do all that without permission. Just make sure they are worth so much of your feelings.

Crying is good. 

Grieve about the things that upset you, hurt you, scare you, tire you. Get it all out. Instead of keeping it in and letting it fester. The sooner you grieve about it the sooner you will be able to forget it and move on to think of happier things in your life.

Live today. 

Life is too short. Don't go crazy trying to plan your future. Planning is good. Secure your future. Save. Stay healthy. Be responsible. But remember to find a balance between doing what you have to do and doing what you want to do. There is no other way to do justice to this life. Don't waste your time completing a checklist someone else gave you.

Think Pink, Save Yourself.

Uzma,
2 years after being diagnosed.
She lost all her hair
but kept her chin up.

The nurse told me which ward Uzma was in. I walked to it and entered, I looked at all the patients but couldn't see her on any of the beds. "I'm here, Beautiful", she called out. I heard the familiar voice behind me, but as I turned to look at her I found a face and body I couldn't recognize. It was an old woman, various drips injecting her arms, and the tube in her nose to help her breathe. Stunned, I quickly put a smile on my face and walked toward her. I hugged her, softly, I was afraid I'd hurt her. "You didn't recognize me, haina?" she asked, smiling. I changed the subject. 

This is when Uzma's battle with Cancer had just begun. She fought like a true warrior, but when it was her time to go, we all had to accept it, including her. 

I remember getting the message from her one day when she was diagnosed with 4th stage. She had been at work and the pain in her upper back had gotten so bad she decided to get it checked. It turned out she had Breast Cancer. I always wonder, if only we had traced it before, would things go differently. Would my darling, beautiful friend still be with me, still be alive?

I'm writing today to appreciate Chugtai Lab's efforts to create awareness on Breast Cancer nationwide with a drive called #ThinkPink. This is so important, and we don't talk about Breast Cancer enough with our girls, young women. Which is why this step towards creating awareness and educating Pakistani people (men and women) about Breast Cancer and the benefits of early detection is a great initiative.

There are many myths surrounding Breast Cancer which need to be broken. As Dr. Sehba Arji, a Pathologist says, "If you're above 20, you need to examine yourself monthly". I agree.

We must never take our health lightly, as Muniba Mazari, Head of CSR at Chugtai Lab, insists: young women and all women in general, must take their health seriously, "Breast Cancer is a topic that is hardly talked about by men or women. It is because of this societal taboo that many women keep suffering for a long period of time until the Cancer reaches a stage where it becomes harder to treat that it would initially have been." How sad. Don't let it be you, or someone you love.

The Chugtai Lab Team at one of the #ThinkPink Karachi sessions

While I firmly believe that there is a time for each of us to go, I don't like the idea of "going" painfully. Uzma spent 4 years fighting the Cancer which started in her breasts, then went on to her lungs, then her liver, then her brain. If only it had been traced at an early stage and treated, perhaps my darling friend would still be with me, alive, healthy, and smiling that beautiful smile. May she forever rest in peace, amen.

Breast Cancer is treatable, but early detection is key. 

Check your boobs now, please... #ThinkPink

Error 404: People.

I'm tired.
I'm tired of stupidity. And mediocre thoughts.
I'm tired of fake gestures. And I'm exhausted with false words which lead to actions which are just for show and tell.
I'm tired of lies, of hidden agendas, of people using people like tools.
I'm tired of people who are afraid to fail, they will never learn to fly.
I'm tired of people who want recognition because they think they deserve it, not because they've earned it.
I'm tired of cheats and copycats.
I'm tired of people who try to buy respect with money, I judge them.
I'm tired of rich people who are arrogant and poor people who are greedy.
I'm tired of people giving people false hopes. I'm tired of witnessing broken dreams.
I'm tired of people not making up their mind about what they want to do, where they want to be.
I'm tired of the things people do just to hurt others because their egos are bigger than their hearts.
I'm tired of fearful men and women, who don't understand the meaning of living fearlessly, of living true.
I'm tired of seeing things done without passion, things which mean nothing, which are nothing, which will never amount to anything, and which add no real value to anyone or anything, ever.
I'm tired of time wasted. I'm tired of people stuck in the past, stuck in a place they can never get out of nor ever change. I feel sorry for them.
I'm tired of average experiences, which are a waste of money, which bring no joy, which amount to nothing more than a Facebook post, to show the world you did something, you ate something, you went somewhere, you bought something.
I'm tired of ordinary conversations about the weather.
I'm tired of below average work.
I'm tired of rude people with bad attitudes.
I'm tired of people who use their mobile phone while driving, there needs to be stricter punishment for that.
I'm tired of poor customer services, and people who break queues.
I'm tired of broken roads and late buses.
I'm tired of the feeling of negativity that most people carry around with them and distribute to infect other people with more negativity.
I'm tired of people who can't make up their mind because they are too selfish and they think they can have it all.
I'm tired of late replies. I'm tired of half-assed gestures. And when people say things only because they think that's what the other person wants to hear.
I'm tired of seeing people heartbroken because they dared to love something... or love someone.
I'm tired of people who are miserable because they were afraid to leave their comfort zone.
I'm tired of hearing about women, men, children being killed in the name of religion.
I'm tired of failed systems.
I'm tired of arguments. I'm tired of people who talk loudly but say nothing valuable or positive.
I'm tired of people who stay silent and become part of the problem rather than fix it.
I'm tired of labels that people give each other out of their own insecurities.

I'm tired of people.

The Freedom To Celebrate.

I remember some intelligent lady called Susan, said, "Independence is Happiness." I like that; possibly one of the best ways to describe freedom for me, because I was born with a crazy-fierce need for independence. 

Despite my lifelong struggle to come to terms with many things 'Pakistani", I am and will always remain a patriot. Having recently relocated to a foreign land, I celebrated 14th August remotely. And though I missed the silly boys, with their sans-silencer motorbikes creating noise and havoc all around Seaview in Karachi, pictures and videos of the festivities in the city and at Dolmen Mall made my heart happily go green.




As the city morphed itself to represent the colours of Pakistan, Dolmen Mall created a whole new flavour of patriotism with fun and festivities.

Dolmen, Pakistan's first international standard mall, has always pioneered every major national celebration, and offered something for everyone from any walk of life. This time their theme 'Dolmen Loves Pakistan' spun the concept of #HamariPehchan, letting people get into the spirit of Independence Day and celebrating their Pakistani-ness. Across three malls, Clifton, Tariq Road, and Hyderi, the Dolmen team rocked it like a true Green Team!

Ludo cushions, a chai dhabba, funky coloured peshawari chappals, flags, badges, and more... A weekend packed with patriotic glamour and glory... and everything green and white.  

Living in a time where there is so much uncertainty and negativity surrounding our identity as a nation, we wanted to celebrate the achievements and entertainment aspects of Pakistan which we are known for. These things are relatable to the older as well as the younger generation of this country and they need to be celebrated. This is what makes us proud as Pakistanis. 

- Anum Nadeem, Marketing Head, Dolmen Group 

 I loved seeing it all over social media, I loved the sense of "togetherness" in the photos people were sharing. And above all else, I loved the sense of freedom to celebrate.
May peace prevail, long live Pakistan.
Amen.

Coke Studio Season 9 - features Amjad Sabri

There's something special about Coke Studio Season 9, and I think this one will be remembered for a long time to come. It features Amjab Sabri, the world famous Pakistani qawaal who passed away tragically just a few days ago (may he rest in peace). In what is probably the last studio recording, Amjad Sabri together with Rahat Fateh Ali Khan read the qawwali, Aj Rang Hai. I have no doubt it will be awesome.

Although Amjad Sabri did not feature in previous seasons of Coke Studio, Tajdar e Haram was performed in Season 8 last year by Atif Aslam, as a tribute to the original performers, Ghulam Farid Sabri and Maqbool Ahmed Sabri. Amjad Sabri had also helped Coke Studio on this rendition. The rendition gained worldwide fame with over 33 million views on digital media. Speaking about his kalaam during the recording in May, the late Amjad Sabri had stated, “About 40 years ago, my father and Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan read this kalaam at a dargah in Karachi and 40 years later, Rahat and I are reading it again (on Coke Studio Season 9).”

“Coke Studio is the ultimate manifestation of Coca-Cola’s music strategy and Season 9 will further strengthen Coca-Cola’s cultural leadership, celebrating diversity while bridging barriers relevant to the youth of today,” stated Rizwan U. Khan, General Manager of Coca-Cola Pakistan, and added, “It is very distressing that Amjad Sabri himself will not be with all of us to see Season 9 go on air in August. His death is a huge national loss.”

The vast talent on the music direction and production side will be matched in Season 9 by a dazzling array of artists, many of whom have performed in previous Coke Studio seasons, as well as several upcoming and talented singers performing for the first time in Coke Studio. While national icons who have performed previously include the likes of Abida Parveen, Rahat Fateh Ali Khan, Sanam Marvi, Umair Jaswal, QB, Saieen Zahoor, Ali Azmat, Noori, Zeb Bangash, Faakhir and Meesha Shafi to name a few, the new artists include Shilpa Rao, Mehwish Hayat, Momina Mustehsan, Natasha Khan, Ali Khan, Rizwan Butt, Basit, Rachel Viccaji, Nirmal Roy and of course the maestro of qawwali, Amjad Sabri.

The unrivaled success of Coke Studio over the years in connecting deeply and emotionally with the people and especially the youth, is evident from its immense digital footprint with 6.3 million fans on Facebook, more than 170 million YouTube views and 7.5 million plus audio streams. It is viewed by fans in some 150 countries and has been exported to 20 countries. In Pakistan it has proved to be a unique platform for high profile projection of everyone associated with the music industry, including singers, back up vocalists, composers, producers, musicians and technical persons of every possible specialty, without whose invaluable contribution no Season could have been produced.

I was fortunate enough to see Amjad Sabri perform live twice in the last few years. He had an energy which kept the listeners connected to the words and music for hours, stirring spiritual feelings and emotions, moving many to tears. It is a sad loss for Pakistan indeed. I can't wait to watch the maestro in his final recording for Coke Studio 9. Aj Rang Hai, written by the poet Amir Khusro (if I am not mistaken) is a beautiful qawaali about love... 

Aaj rung hai hey maan rung hai ri

Moray mehboob kay ghar rang hai ri
Sajan milaavra, sajan milaavra,
Sajan milaavra moray aangan ko
Aaj rung hai...

And may we never forget the messages of love which music brings us, and may we continue to respect each other's ways of life and diversity in Pakistan.

Peace.

-JB

Orion's Belt

It happened out of nowhere. Completely unplanned, and unexpected. I would be sure I had imagined these hours, but I have the mosquito bites to remind me it was real, it happened.

We talked for hours. We talked about many things, about our children, and dinosaurs, and constellations, the pyramids, and loved ones dying of Cancer. We walked surrounded by trees after midnight, with nothing but sounds of leaves and insects. Sometimes our arms would brush and it was nothing romantic or physical, it was just very comforting. They strange comfort of knowing someone else is there, to hear what I had to say, and to share their thoughts too. That, in that moment, they would catch you if you fall, and you them. That they would let you rest your head on their shoulders if you needed to, that they would hold your hand if a sound in the dark scared you. 

It was weird how we met, and that is why I am sure it was an important encounter, because destiny works in weird ways. And I am a great believer in destiny.

What I can't stop questioning is how you can talk to someone for hours undisturbed, without knowing very little about them. Just hunches of who they are, of what they like, of what they are saying and what they are actually hoping you will hear between the lines. And you're okay with that, because you like the sense of existence without having to justify it.

What do you call someone who is by definition a complete stranger, but in that moment feel closer to them than any of your friends? And your mind doesn't want to waste time trying to find which box this feeling goes into... or why you are feeling this... you just want to go with the flow, and you go with it. Like diving into a pool of water just because you want to and you can and it will bring you joy, wake you up, exhilarate you. They are there with you, and you with them... and in that moment, at that time, you both holding the moment, you give it your attention and it is important to be there in every sense of being. Not final like the last meal of a dying man, but more like being rejuvenated by a cool drink of water after a long exhausting run. A momentary pleasure, till you are thirsty again, but an amazing feeling of relief and peace.

What do you call the calmness they bring to your life in that brief time? 

How do you feel without having any feelings "before"? Knowing it is just momentary, temporary - and there are no feelings "after"? It's just here and now. Life happening in its purist form. And you're not in a hurry, there is only so much you can share in this limited amount of time.

It's all so strange. But I loved it. 

The intersection of two completely different people from two completely different worlds. Almost like an eclipse.

- JaneBravo

Did you know about Camellia Sinensis?

Sounds like a sexy, naughty European... I know.
But Camellia Sinensis is the fancy scientific plant name for "Chai".

"Chai" is apparently a Chinese surname too... but we are talking about Tea today.
Tea - the most widely consumed drink in the world after water.

Mainly because I think Chai has brought more families and people together than any other beverage in the world. And because I believe there are two kinds of people in this world:

1. Chai people 
2. All the other people

According to some legends, it was 2700-something B.C, the wind was blowing somewhere, a Chinese Emperor was drinking a bowl of boiling hot water, because boiled water had been decreed (or something like that). Anyway... the wind was blowing in a dramatic fashion (as with all legends) and it blew leaves from a nearby plant into the Emperor's bowl of boiling water, and the water magically changed colour. It intrigued him, he sipped it, he liked it. 

This was the first unceremonious cup (rather "bowl" of tea). 

Tea (which now has more than 3000 varieties) started as a medicinal drink. This makes complete sense to me, because tea soothes me, keeps my digestion good, and keeps me fresh. The first cups of tea were made thousands of years ago in China - something like the 3rd Century A.D. The Portuguese in China had the beverage around 16th Century. From there it gradually made its way to Britain, and in the 17th Century gained popularity. It was the British that introduced tea plantations in India and set the traditions of "tea time" in Indo-Pak subcontinent. It's no surprise then that "Chai", a word for tea in many languages around the world, is derived from the Mandarin Chinese word "Cha". In colloquial Punjabi we use this word too, "Cha". And for some of us our daily dose of Chai puts the "Cha" in our life's "Cha Cha Cha". 

What's kind of Chai do you drink - black, green, oolong, white, puerh, masala?

 

Hope is a lie disguised as a promise.

Carl Jung said, "It all depends on how we look at things, and not how they are in themselves." 

We can see something everyday and still not be sure... like salt looks like sugar sometimes and sugar looks like salt. 

This is true and this is bad. Because we look at things as we want to see them. 

How we want to see them in that moment. 

We create the expectation, the hope, the idea of what is (but isn't really), or what can be, or what may be, or how it could be (but won't really ever be)... we fixate on these "hopes"...and rarely do we remember or see what it really is or really is not. 
Hope is a dangerous thing. Hope can drive people mad. 

Hope is a lie disguised as a promise.

“Hope is the thing with feathers 
That perches in the soul 
And sings the tune without the words 
And never stops at all.” 
― Emily Dickinson

And how can this possibly be a good thing? 

What was Emily talking about? Why do I want this thing in my soul, giving me an endless tune with no words? I want real stuff, stuff I can share, not imaginations. 

“They say a person needs just three things to be truly happy in this world: someone to love, something to do, and something to hope for.” 
― Tom Bodett

I agree with the second thing only. 

One is just a recipe for disaster, in my personal experience. Someone to love loosely translates to someone who will make you rely on them and then be the most unreliable person ever. 

And three, something to hope for, again too vague. 

Maybe Tom was continuing where Emily left off? 

Couldn't sleep, thanks for reading my midnight rant.

- JaneBravo

A Marvellous Meetha Ho Jai?

A cookie-chip chocolate?

Yes... that is exactly how I'd describe the latest Marvellous Creation by Cadbury Dairy Milk "Gummy Cookie Crunch"!

Chocolate is universally loved and is a known comfort zone. I attended the launch at Dolmen Mall Clifton on 13th February and got a taste of the new flavours, along with having a lot of fun at the booth and the tasting stall. The interesting interactive stall drew all kinds of people in the main atrium at Dolmen, some with kids and others bringing out the kid in them! 

As a wise man once said, "Balance means having chocolate in both hands", well... you can easily find your balance with Cadbury Dairy Milk Marvellous Creations. With Gummy Cookie Crunch in one hand and "Jelly Popping Candy" in the other. This variation makes your knees turn to jelly on a whole other level, like falling in love - but with chocolate!

Chocolate is really the perfect thing. You can't improve perfection. But I'd say, these two delightful Marvellous Creations, Cadbury Dairy Milk has come close. As the brand always asks "Kuch Meetha Ho Jai?" and that is exactly what they deliver.

Remembering Dr. Zafar Altaf

A Leader is not a person, a leader is a Philosophy. Once upon a time in August 1941, in Agar, Uttar Pradesh, India, a boy named Zafar Altaf was born.

I don’t know much about his early life during the Partition and the start of life in Lahore, Pakistan, but I do know he belongs to an extremely respected, close-knit family, with humble beginnings and solid principles. The Altaf blood has a special and rare DNA, and I will tell you more about that another day.

Zafar Altaf, with his right-handed batting style and right-arm leg-spin bowling, made his first-class debut in Lahore in 1958 as a middle-order batsman. He was selected to tour India with the Pakistan Cricket team in 1960; I suppose he was about nineteen at the time.

In 1963, Doctor Sahib received his Master’s Degree in Psychology from the University of Punjab. He continued to play Cricket, and in 1965 he set a fourth-wicket partnership record for Pakistan with Majid Khan. Doctor Sahib went on to serve as Secretary of the Pakistan Cricket Board from 1972 to 1975. 

He then went to the University of Birmingham and completed his PHD in Economics in 1981. In addition to teaching at three known universities in Pakistan, Doctor Sahib served on the National Selection Committee in the 1980s and as Chairman of the Committee for two years, from 1994 to 1996. He also managed the Pakistan Cricket Team during the 1999 World Cup. The sportsmen spirit was close to his heart, he loved the game and he loved the players. So much so that he always wanted to keep them motivated and felt the Government had let the team down and demotivated the team’s spirit for their beloved sport.

He worked extensively as an Economist in the Pakistan Civil Service and kept the position of Federal Secretary for Agriculture, a role he stayed in for a decade starting in the 1990s. He was also Chair at the Pakistan Agriculture Research Council around this time and once again in 2009.

He writes: “Goethe once remarked that culture is developed in solitude and character in the stream of events. Jung would have said that the fusion of opposites (Enantiodromia) will lead to harmonious and useful living.” Dr. Zafar Altaf was an extraordinary character with extraordinary character; he was a culture in himself. I was delighted to read what he wrote in Culture and Character and I love the way he credits his parents here: “In Pakistan we have neither character building nor culture development. It was a habit with me to sit in solitude for one hour after a day’s effort to work out the pros and cons of the day’s work; to see if I had erred in my duty not to the government of the day but to the people of Pakistan. This was ingrained in me by my parents who said that since you have been given authority to serve then make sure that you serve.” The stuff that heroes are made of. 

He goes back to this thought in The Sound Footings of an Economy and asks: “Are we in the service of this country or are we in our own service? There lies the crunch for I can rationalize anything and everything.”

There is no iota of doubt in my mind that he deeply loved his country and countrymen. Often attempting to remind Pakistan of why it was born, where we have tripped and how we continue to stay down. He talks about it in Fantasy Economics – “Pakistan was made from a policy of compassion where all the people living would receive their rightful measure. Ask Hameed Nizami the late founder of Urdu daily Nawa-i-Waqt who formulated the philosophy back in 1940. Is this what we have got into? We should have realized what we did to former East Pakistan but we are very poor at learning from our own history. We can learn from Ata Turk (and so have I been there). His library is one of the finest. The value system that he gave to the people was from his own doings. Do we have that kind of commitment from our own leaders? Our thinking like our other aspects are not deep. We are shallow in thoughts and seldom meet our ever growing needs for deep thinking.” 

I think he believed in doing everything for a good reason, the result of the exercise must somehow have value and enhance an individual. In his article, The Economics of Lying, he writes: "Technology nowadays rides people and that is harmful for it diminishes human judgement and therefore makes the system more selfish and complicated." He uses the example of flashy models creating desires for things that we need for other reasons but do not desire in the manner we are programmed to think: "It is not meant for gallivanting. The desire is controlled by the thinking that is developed by the elders in a family. The nucleus family itself is in turmoil so how can it take care of its off springs." This is all true, we lack caring. He goes on to say, "How is caring managed? One meaning of care is love. This may mean many things to many people but if one is careful and loving to oneself then that becomes in-built in a duty of care to the others you want to hate." Later on he says, "Sometimes hope, excessive hope, is built on lies. The hope is in the future and sometimes this hope is two or three decades away." He ends the discussion with, "There are no hard and fast rules and therefore the thinkers will have to devise new and positive means to perform well." Almost as if he is asking, do you have what it takes? 

With each piece I read, I couldn't help but be reminded of love for my country. It pains me to see the state of things here and where they are headed if we don't change the wrongs. Dr. Zafar Altaf's writings seem to be almost like written messages a concerned father would send to a problematic child in trouble repeatedly, the father constantly trying to offer advice and solutions to set this child towards betterment and a secure and prosperous future. This was his love for Pakistan. He wanted to take us towards betterment and prosperity. In Learning to Fight Gangsters, he writes: "Where Mercedes Benz and BMW travel roads the roads are in pristine condition. Where the poor man's car does a few miles the roads are non-existent." His reflections and predictions speak volumes. "If those that are sitting on high pedestal do not realize they will be brought down. What a fall that will be my countrymen. As it is the north is in a kind of natural disaster and the south some kind of personal disaster. Inequality breeds some kind of criminal activity. Pakistan figures though unreported, still cross the 12000 cases reported for theft and dacoities in a week. Criminals rule this country. And this will continue till the politicians clean up their act. We are so good at telling others what to do that it is now an embarrassment." This statement reminds me of what he wrote in Culture and Character: " Culture and character and any other manifestation that we have do not fo together in a country. In fact what do go together is not law and order but police and disorder." Because... as he says, "The culture and the fashion of culture is developed by written not by the verbal word." 

"Lessons of history are never learnt by supercilious idiots. They only abuse these lessons." He constantly tried to make us think. "Does the truth pay? That was the question that one faced in an introspective manner. Is it worthwhile to have trust on one's side? As I look back I find that the character that is built in the personality is not only a function of education but also a function of censorship which comes from multiple sources. However, the system that Pakistan seems to be building on is about short-term cleverness never mind what happens later. The social systems have collapsed thanks to the media exposing the doings and undoings of the powerful. The unknowns of previous times have become the knowns of the present." - from The Sound Footings of an Economy. 

In Fantasy Economics he starts, "In life one is always concerned with the poor and their welfare. Pakistan is no different but there have always been statements to this effect by politicians. Yet the facts are different. If one were to go by the asset declarations given by the politicians then the evidence is that the powerful people have used this country for their own ends." He made me laugh (and cry) at how cheeky yet powerful the message is, "I suggest that the politicians live in a village and share the bedroom with the buffaloes. The indigenous Eau de Cologne will last for at least a week. In fact it will be a great experience if the entire NA were to go and have a month long session over there. I am sure that the hospitality of the villagers will be overwhelming. The other advantage will be that these members of the NA will come to terms with reality." Clearly he loved Pakistan, he loved the citizens, the common man, and understood the suffering of the citizens at the hands of the politicians and Government. This is evident in Economic Delusions of grandeur - "The Mina Tragedy people will be given five lakhs for the death of the dear ones while injured get two lakhs. How insulting a behaviour is this? When will we learn about human dignity? Or are we born in a dead state?"

Dr. Zafar Altaf was no ordinary human being. We have lost a treasure, a scholar, a mentor, thinker, father of the countrymen, a gentleman... we have lost a legend. I pray and excessively hope his principles, his value system, and his philosophies have transfused into some of the current generation, because we will need all these to change the sad condition of Pakistan. 

I am sad for Pakistan's loss as we say goodbye to Dr. Zafar Altaf. But I am personally also deeply sad that I never had the good fortune of meeting this great man during his lifetime. I can't begin to imagine the impact his spoken words would have and how he could inspire in person a thousand times more than his written words have moved me. But then I comfort myself as I remember what he wrote, "The culture and the fashion of culture is developed by written not by the verbal word."  

May he rest in peace, amen.

Home Is Where You Have Pretty Things - #MyLifewares

It was a pleasure to be invited by TDF to the #MyLifewares launch at Dolmen Mall Clifton, Karachi, by Interwood. Mall events need great attention to detail, and this one was so tastefully put together, I literally wanted to revamp my entire home with everything I saw at the Interwood displays around the mall and in the store!  Not to mention the extremely cool "Be Our Next Model" competition; I ended up getting my picture taken and receiving a nice framed piece in 30 minutes!

Interwood Store at Dolmen Mall Clifton, Karachi

If you're looking for exquisite, quality pieces on a budget, Interwood is the place to check out for sure. You have to go see this store... it is designed beautifully and in a way that you can keep walking around and see different things on each round. As Brand Manager of Lifewares, Amna Umair, says: “The idea of ‘Lifewares by Interwood’ is to not only sell a product to our customers but a whole experience..." - I easily spent a good hour or two looking at the furniture, lighting and decor ideas. Not to mention, set beautifully: the store is a clever masterpiece, because no matter where you look, you'll connect to something that is your idea of comfort and "pretty things" - immediately making you imagine your ideal home space as you walk around.

All good lounges come to those who go to Interwood

Bottle-green Jade Lamp

I picked five favourite items, which you can see on my Instagram with the hashtag #SarahsDreamHome, these were (in random order):

1. The Jade bed set - a delightful combination of a bed, side table, magical bottle-green glass lamps, cushions and throws.

2. A three-seater recliner - such a comfy looking thing. Perfect to just drop down on after a long day at work and put your feet up. Good for snuggling and snacks while watching TV too.

3. A dresser - so classy, yet so simple. A piece every women must have for her morning rituals of getting ready to face the world.

4. A sofa - a deliciously rich chocolate brown leather sofa, can seat about four skinny people and three not-so-skinny ones. Easy to clean and just perfect for a casual or formal setting.

5. The L-shaped five-seater set - elegant and chic, this one piece is enough for a small lounge or meeting room.

Kitchen Ideas

A Purple Corner

Presently, Lifewares by Interwood is offering a 10% discount (a limited time offer) on all products available at their outlet in Dolmen Mall, Clifton.
I do recommend you check it out now! 

There are some great deals for wedding shoppers, and something for everyone, whether you are looking for gifts or revamping your rooms, there are keepsakes, paintings and flower arrangements too. Bedroom, a children's room, a study, a kitchen or a dining area, you name it... Interwood has it all, not to forget even prettier frills like shiny lamps and funky wall clocks, so much to cheer up any dull old walls and corners. 

Dining Tables and everything else that goes with it

Home is where you have pretty things - go get some!

First Depressions

"You can't be a damsel in distress when it suits you!" he screams at her.

She sits there in her sweat pants and hoodie, hair in a tight ponytail which adds to the throbbing pain inside her skull. She isn't being a damsel. But she is deeply in distress. She needs help. Wants help. She is asking for help. He isn't a bad guy. But he can't see it, hear it, or understand it. She just needs someone to hold her hand while she saves herself. She had done it all before, dug herself out of a seemingly bottomless pit, but this time she is exhausted and needs help digging. Maybe she just wants him to pull her out. Maybe she is just tired of being strong. Maybe she is thinking about giving up.


John Newman - Love Me Again [Official Video] HD by funjakob

Depression is a terrible thing. People who suffer from depression can't sleep it off, or eat chocolate and be OK... basically, there is no way for them to avoid it.

Try to remember that when you are losing your patience with someone who is struggling with crippling depression. Don't be frustrated with them. Try to care for them, try to show them you care. They can't stop what they are feeling, and they can't explain it properly either.

When you tell someone suffering from depression to just "Get over it!" it's like telling someone with Cancer to "Get over it!" or telling a man with a broken leg to walk and run and dance, because the pain is just in their mind. But you would never do that, because you can see the Cancer test reports, you can see the broken leg. In the case of depression, you can't see what is affected, which parts are broken, or how deep the pain is. So when someone you know is struggling with depression - please be there for them and give them time to overcome the pain, heal, get strong again.

Most depressed people just need to vent what they are feeling. It is very hard for them to express what they are feeling or why they are feeling it. Try to talk to them. They are not playing games to get your attention. They are very scared. They may be on the precipice of suicide or self destruction. Not because they don't want to live anymore. But because they don't want to live with this "feeling" anymore. Listen carefully to anything they are trying to tell you, without judgement. They are very damaged inside. They are genuinely hurting like the guy with a broken leg before he gets the painkillers and the cast. Save them from the feeling of hopelessness.

If you see signs of suicidal tendencies, take them to get treatment.

Depression is a terrible place to be. People suffering from it eventually isolate themselves from others, because they are tired of hearing "Stop doing this to yourself!". They won't change, but they will stop "bothering" you if that is the only response you give them. Some people with depression are mentally very strong - this is the worst. They will seem calm and continue to do things which are routine, because routine things don't require much thought or planning. To you they will appear totally normal, living their life as if the crying fit from a month back was just hormones or something. These people are the ones you need to really worry about... this is even more dangerous than the regular depressed person... because on the surface you will see no signs of depression. But if you look closely, you will see they have isolated themselves from every possible situation outside of routine.

If you love someone struggling with depression please help them overcome it.

~ JB

Make the #First1000Days Healthy.

As it happens, I wasn't able to attend Nestlé's ‘Start Healthy, Stay Healthy’ event... recently organized to raise awareness about the importance of nutrition in the first 1000 days of a child’s life. Dr. Huma Fahim (a Medical Advisor at Nestlé) gave an informative presentation, which I read about and heard great things about, and the whole time all I could think about was the magic that my mother's homemade handmade butter had brought to my life, my mind, and my body overall... 

Going back to the early 80s, homemade butter was a part of life for my brothers and me. I am quite proud to say there are few people my age today who can claim they were brought up on mom's homemade anything. Mothers today don't really understand the value of nutrition, nor the concept of "healthy". I salute my mother, who was a full-time mom and school teacher till we got well into our teens. How she had time to make homemade butter, I will never know! 

As an child, a teen, and an adult I have always felt stronger mentally and physically compared to my peers. I strongly believe this is because of my mother's need to make sure we "start healthy", and I wish more parents would give their children a solid and healthy foundation to grow on. 

Scientists and Doctors change many statements annually... but one thing remains consistent: the effects and importance of the exposure we get and environment we experience from the time we are embryos to the time we start walking and talking, till about age two. The initial two years are the most scientifically amazing period for growth and development of a human being. Most of the brain develops by this time, which basically means, the blueprints for how we will grow ahead mentally and physically are written and locked by this time. 

As mothers, as bajis, phupos, and women, we must understand this idea and share it with other women and mothers. We need to understand that we owe this to our future generations - to give them a chance at being stronger, better, quicker. So tell your friends, and tell your maids about the importance of nutrition for their young kids. And the importance of nutrition for themselves when they are expecting a child. Do your part, remember the #First1000Days and ‘Start Healthy, Stay Healthy’.

"Accept It"

Tough times don't last, tough people do... When the going gets tough, the tough get going... When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile... Tough people are not born, they are made when no one is there to wipe away their tears... You were given this life because you are strong enough to live it... When everything feels like an uphill struggle just think of the view from the top... Don't be afraid of tough times because it gets you real friends and real friends get you through tough times... Hardships often prepare ordinary people for extraordinary things.
Learn that life is tough, but you are tougher.

On most days I am a strong believer of all of the above.

The list of this bite-size motivation is endless... Feeling down? Google to the rescue! I know, because I try to keep myself uplifted with these little numbers whenever I'm down or feeling helpless or having a bad day or feeling ill. But I'm noticing that it is getting harder and harder to believe all this motivational crap, and I think it might not be completely true... because I'm only human. I'm not Thor, or The Hulk, or Yoda. So, these days, instead of looking for motivation on Google... I'm trying this new thing called "Accept It". 

I remember recently when a car came out of nowhere and hit me on a Monday morning on a quite road in a residential area... I was shaking and petrified, and the first thing that came out of my mouth to the aged driver who had hit me (literally) in more ways than one..."I have five thousand problems and you've just added one more!" 

A little while later, as a dear friend tried to comfort me with an Espresso shot, fine chocolates, and a pep talk about how strong I am and how I've gotten through much bigger ordeals in my life... I continued to weep like an annoying, spoiled, stubborn child and blubbered, "When ten really bad things happen to you, and you cope with them, and deal with difficult things over and over again, by then you've had to get up ten times, and you've tried to stay brave and optimistic throughout... and then an eleventh thing happens and you just don't have any energy left to get up that eleventh time." Not important to mention... but this was all figurative speech. It was not the eleventh time... it was the twentieth... but then, my Math skills are quite questionable.

So anyway, these days I'm trying this new thing called "Accept It". And the real truth is:
Tough times don't last forever; and contrary to common belief, neither do tough people. 
We're only human.
- Jane Bravo