Penny-worth Thoughts...

Nothing in this life is permanent.

The one person, who is with us for our entire life, is our self.

Life is measured by the breaths we take?

Should we not measure it by the moments that take our breath away?

Those are the only moments that mean anything.

The only substance.

The only reality.

-JB

Reality Check

She sat in one of the toilet cubicles, eating her lunch... A maid who was on duty at one of the local malls.

It hurt me to see a human being reduced to this- She was not allowed a lunch break, she was paid by the hour; She was not even allowed to sit in the waiting area of the public toilet to eat her meal.

I was numb with shock.

I know people who would not even use a public toilet... Yet, this human being had to use the place as a dining area. I felt ashamed, and very sad. She seemed like a clean, kind woman with a sad and lonely face. Maybe it was her self-respect, maybe she was desperate to keep the job, or else why would she work to earn her monthly income servicing public toilets, even if that meant eating her meals whilst on duty there.

As we exchanged glances, she smiled at me- it was a genuine smile that made my heart ache for her; Almost as if she was saying to me, 'I'm alright...' I gave her some money and left, goose-bumps on my skin as I walked away.

I felt quite ashamed thinking how I had spent most of the morning today worrying about - new tires for my Suzuki; whether I would be able to get all the things on my shopping list; whether I had enough money in my wallet for the day out - as I sat with my son, eating pizza, and playing on the computer, in my very comfortable home. I thought of the little details of my day, how great it had been.

Let me never forget it- this wonderful life.

There are times when I have felt I do not have enough in this life. Today I realise how much I have, how ungrateful I have been sometimes.

May I be more thankful for this life...

-JB

Stripes or Spots?

I detest it when my 'friends' challenge my belief system. This particular piece is for all of them. Though they may never read this, I want to share it with the rest of you, who may have 'friends' such as these...

There are times when people expect you to do things that are against your inner self, against your belief system, things you do not want to do. You must never do these things. If there is a shred of doubt in your mind and heart- listen. Doubt means 'DON'T'.

And most importantly- To change for others is to lie to yourself. Identify yourself. Be self aware. Who are you? Know it, believe it, BE it.

Reversal of this confuses me- I agree with the Saint who said, 'Nothing is either good or bad, but thinking (or society) makes it so.' Bringing us back to our personal ideology, our belief system; What we see as fair, good and right. Humans are selfish by nature. They will live as they see fit, they will convince themselves that what they are doing is correct at the expense of going against society- because it is what THEY want. Retrospectively they may feel it was bad or wrong, but in the present it is RIGHT- their right- it is what they will do, because that is their primal need, taking what is theirs. So should we always 'BE' who we are?

I think the better path to take would be to change for yourself. But not for others. That is a positive way to be selfish, in grasping your right to free will. Choose what is good for you, not only what makes you feel good mometarily.

Dignity must never be forgotten. Grace is important to cultivate self respect. It is our choices that define us and our character, not our fates. This is what separates the loser from the winner. It's not about being religious, or moral. It's about being dignified in all acts, at all times.

Limits must never be overstepped. Boundaries must be defined and recognized at all times throughout life and at the moments of making decisions. Limits are of the utmost importance. If you have none, you have no boundaries. You are exposed and susceptible. You become destructable and penetrable. It is your limits and discipline that protect you the most in this life.

Reputation is a weapon of power, like Pride. Pride your reputation.

Once lost or cracked it is hard to mend.

Try not to learn these rules the hard way.

-JB

Surviving 2007 *phew*

It's been a year of tests, triumphs, and lessons.

Experience is the worst teacher, I've said it so many times before, it gives the lesson after the test! And so, like two-headed Janus, I look back on the past, simultaneously looking towards the future, for a near-perfect present.

I'm going to call 2007 my "coming-to-terms-with-this-crazy-life" year. And so, I am making the following declarations- things I saw, felt and learnt in the last twelve months...

1. Family is the most important thing in life.

2. Children are the most wonderful, beautiful, awesome, and fantastic thing that will ever touch your life. This applies to Parents too. Thank God if you have your own.

3. Money can buy security, comfort, contentment and independence- thus, money can, in fact, buy Happiness.

4. Love is a Tango- It takes two!

5. Friends can be more fickle than lovers. Beware.

6. Don't expect anything, from anyone, ever.

7. Dreams are not reality. Don't live in them.

8. Reality is brutal. Learn to accept it, before it kills you.

9. Pain is important. It makes us feel human, real, and living.

10. Wounds only heal once you stop picking them.

11. Men will be men!

12. Believe that there is a Higher Power. And yes, all things happen for a very apt reason.

13. It is better to be trustworthy than to trust.

14. Better to be loved than to love.

15. Men are emotionally challenged.

16. Laughing out loud and smiling are soul excersises.

17. Looking good is an important factor if you're aiming to FEEL good!

18. Music is good therapy.

19. Dancing to music you enjoy is excellent therapy.

20. Vodka can sometimes be your best friend.

21. Passing out is never sexy...

22. 'Eye Candy' should ONLY be looked at from a safe distance. Because 'Eye Candy' is just a mirage, once it speaks it becomes the 'Dumb Blonde'.

23. Do NOT believe everything you hear!

24. Yoga DOES work... try it atleast once in your life.

25. Shoes are important. Love the ones you're in. Get the ones you love. You walk through life in them!

Hmmm... I guess that's bout it. Hope everyone reading this had a bearable 2007, and has a smashing 2008.

-JB

Heart and Nerve and Sinew

There are times when life leads us to dead ends on a one way road...

It is when you reach here that you are hit by the realisation that you have 'lost'. You break, bleed, shatter. You stand alone here. Your friends left you when you weren't paying attention to their tricks. Your enemies leave, knowing you are wasted, that you will fight them no more- that they have defeated you. You lie alone on the floor of your deluded, distorted dreams- with no strength in you, barely breathing, your head bowed, not to hide your tears, displaying your numb shame; frozen and blue.

You feel you have lost your pride, your face, your dreams, your value, your soul, you almost cease to exist in your own sphere...

Time heals all things, and with the passage of it, your misery thaws; And after the realization that "All is lost", you come to the understanding that you have nothing left to lose. This becomes your power. That is the dawn after a dark, stormy, painful, seemingly endless night!

" If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the will which says to them: 'Hold on!' "

So, when all is lost, and there is nothing left to lose, let me fight the battle one last time...

-JB

"Invictus"

by William Ernest Henley

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

Phenomenal Woman

By Maya Angelou

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies

I'm not cute or built to suit a model's fashion size

But when I start to tell them
They think I'm telling lies.

I say

It's in the reach of my arms

The span of my hips

The stride of my steps

The curl of my lips.

I'm a women

Phenomenally

Phenomenal woman

That's me.

I walk into a room

Just as cool as you please

And to a man

The fellows stand or

Fall down on their knees

Then they swarm around me

A hive of honey bees.

I say

It's the fire in my eyes

And the flash of my teeth

The swing of my waist

And the joy in my feet.

I'm a woman

Phenomenally

Phenomenal woman

That's me.

Now you understand

Just why my head's not bowed

I don't shout or jump about

Or have to talk real loud

When you see me passing

It ought to make you proud.

I say

It's in the click of my heels

The bend of my hair

The palm of my hand

The need for my care.

'Cause I'm a woman

Phenomenally

Phenomenal woman

That's me.

-I dedicate this poem to every woman who embraces being a woman. A woman who does not need others to tell her what she is worth, or how beautiful she is, and what she brings to the world.

-JB

The words of Ayn Rand

*Learn to value yourself, which means: to fight for your happiness.*

*I need no warrant for being, and no word of sanction upon my being. I am the warrant and the sanction.*

*I swear by my life and my love of it that I will never live for the sake of another man, nor ask another man to live for mine.*

*Pride is the recognition of then fact that you are your own highest value and, like all of man's values, it has to be earned.*

*Rationality is the recognition of the fact that nothing can alter the truth and nothing can take precedence over the act of perceiving it.*

*That which you call your soul or spirit is your consciousness, and that which you call 'free will' is your mind's freedom to think or not, the only will you have, your only freedom, the choice that controls all the choices you make and determines your life and your character.*

I read an article online - '30 things to do before you turn 30'. Interestingly enough, 'Read books' such as "The Fountainhead" and "Atlas Shrugged" was listed in the top five things to do before you turn 30! Why am I not surprised... The writings of Ayn Rand project a way of life and how to justify the life you lead. To feel at peace with your choices. If you haven't read Rand yet, I recommend you do so NOW- doesn't matter if you're over three decades! ;)

-JB

Abstractions

Logic seems like a foreign country.

My acts are all repercussions of what I am feeling. My sins are all crimes of passion. My thoughts are all clearly bright as I stare in to the sun. They are fluid like water, burning my mind like fire, yet contain an innocence of a baby's toothless smile.

I am flying because I am controlling my own reality.

I am not running. But sometimes, I feel I may be hiding. I prefer not to deal in lies. My pride is never foolish. I see it more as a virtue than as a vice. It is my weapon of choice. Death nor dishonour are not any options.

I get what is meant for me. Life is not based on circumstances, but on my choices. I always justify my love. I know my limits, and the lines I can not cross. I denounce society if it tries to cage me. I like who I am. No, I love who I am. I am not preturbed when people do not understand me.

Where I am today has been a walk through Hell. I am still going through it, but I have learnt to walk through it faster, confident that it will change sooner than later. What I envision as my future today, is not a mere dream of Heaven on Earth- but a belief; it is a reality- like a drop of honey that I can taste in my mouth long after I have swallowed it.

I feel loved sometimes, but I prefer not to love too much. I may attach things to myself, but I will never combine them with me. I trip many times, but I try my hardest not to fall when I do. I can fix myself when I am broken, but I do not like to be shattered. I do not like pain. But I understand how pain can empower one in spirit and in mind. I like to speak of my strength and my courage, not my past. I am highly reliable, and I have learned that it is not wise to rely on others, not even one's closest friends. I accept- I have stopped expecting.

Almost anything I do will be insignificant; but it is important that I do it.

"I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I'm out of control, and at times hard to handle. But, if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."

_ Marilyn Monroe

-JB

The Soulmate Theory

Oddly enough, discussing the concept of the 'soulmate' was never on any of my 'things to do' lists... But then one day, I felt I needed to probe the theory. Let's just say to get a better perspective on Love, and 'matches made in Heaven'... It's revoltingly interesting- the soulmate theory, not love. As far as my encounter with 'Love' goes... I'll write another day! For now, read on...

The Soulmate Theory has captivated the world since long ago. Movies like 'Titanic', 'Serendipity', 'Point Break', and many television shows and song lyrics have presented circumstances where soulmates exist in a variety of contexts- as friends, as lovers, and as companions, with an unbreakable bond.

Classically speaking, with specific reference to Greek mythology, originally humans were combined of four arms, four legs, and a single head made of two faces; but Zeus feared their 'double' power and split them all in half, condemning them to spending their lives searching for the other half to complete them.

(I'm sure that the majority of people will be unable to digest this!)

On a spiritual level, the concept of the Soulmate exists within 'reincarnation' and 'karma'- leading to the idea that soulmates have in fact shared previous lifetimes together. Suggesting, that the 'karmic' soulmate has a special influence on one's life. A companion with whom a special, 'beyond-this-world' connection is made.

The concept of the soulmate is primarily a romantic belief that there is only one true soul that completes and shares the other to become 'one', 'whole' soul. This is called the 'Twin Flame'.

Although popularly used in a romantic way, the concept of the soulmate is not reserved just for Love, but in fact also for the deep bond of friendship; Where the 'Twin' soulmates are the best of friends with the strongest of bonds.

Well, in this Age of Science, some theorists have come up with a formula that IF a relationship can be judged as per one's internal happiness, then one can possibly calculate which person in their life would be their 'soulmate'. Accordingly this, one person should, scientifically speaking, make you absolutely euphoric, and chances are you will not be content existing with any other person in life, except the 'one'.

Ultimately the consequence of the soulmate theory is the terrifying reality that soulmates often possess the ability to inflict serious emotional and spiritual injury unto their twin flame, greater than any other person on Earth could. Most people are destined for the eternal search of their soulmate. Few are lucky enough to actually find the 'one'.

According to staunch believers of the soulmate theory- "the initial encounter is often analogous to the collision of matter and antimatter, a violent explosive reaction will occur, but if held through to completion only pure energy, and thus harmony, will result."

I feel that it is then fair to say that if one does find his/ her soulmate, and the match is not acceptable as per the rules of society we live in, and are judged by, the encounter will leave us with a lifetime of profound sadness and depression as there is no possibility of resolution.

So tell me my dear reader, what would you do if you found the 'one', your soulmate, the one person on this Earth who possesses the inborn potentials that accurately match and complete your own?

It is believed also, that your soulmate is joined eternally to your actual soul, by a signature in your heart at the dimension of your spirit.

Will you ever believe?
I do.

-JB

Karachi, 12-05-2007

Independence is the most underrated possession in the world.

Karachi is once again bearing the brunt of the bloody rivalry between various political parties and government conspirers. In a matter of three hours, a 'rally' has been transformed into a 'bloody day'. There is an air of fear, shock and confusion:
- Innocent people are being killed, shot, and terrorized.
- Injured people are unable to be taken to the hospitals owing to the roads being blocked.
- A petrol station has been set to fire.
- More than 15 vehicles have been torched.

I am sad and pained to see innocent blood shed this way. I am sad that I am a Pakistani. I am sad that such an illiterate and irresponsible country is my homeland. The painful stories of those who gave up all to create this country for us, make me wonder what they would feel had they been alive today to watch us kill our own innocent brothers instead of our enemies...

-JB

Music to my ears ;)

Hey people!!

Hmmm.... Lots of songs playing in my head these past few days.... Mostly from the 80's, primarily reminding me of those brilliant 'limsical' moments that have gone by.

Music is a healer, you know. It keeps us in a bubble. Helps to soothe the nerves, and to calm our soul. Helps us ponder, and wonder- what lies in the mysterious future, what could have been different in our personal histories.

Well, incase you're in an intense mood like me :)
...Do listen to:

Brothers in Arms by Dire Straits

It'll hit the spot, I tell ya!
If not the lyrics, then the soulful twanging of the guitar...

Cheers!

-JB

Hi fellow humans!

Hmmm... I read the most interesting quote a few days ago. I don't remember who it's by, or if it's from a book, but it's stuck in my head and makes total sense from all angles...

It goes-

" You can have anything you want in life, just as long as you give up everything else. "

I have reflected on my life quite deeply after reading this, and I fully agree. All is within reach. All is possible. You can have that one thing you want most, but forget about all other things. It's like a thin line being drawn in my head. One that defines two parallels- One is Wisdom, and the other is Madness. And have we all not at one point chosen one above the other?

Reflect, please.

-JB

Learning to Love

Hello,

Its been a while since I last typed anything here... I did have a lot to say, but life has become so busy and complicated that I really never got the chance. Its mid-October 2006... another two months and the next year will begin. Sigh! This year literally flew by. I've learnt many things these past few months, but the most important lesson I recently learnt is that one must learn to love oneself above all. That is the only way one can be truly happy throughout life.

Sounds quite self-centred and selfish, but it is really true!
Try it ;)

Keep loving, and learning always!

-JB

The Worst Teacher

I happened to read my horoscope a few days ago, and it said- "This year will be the hardest year of your entire life"! Well, not that I'm a firm believer in the Zodiac, but things have been quite testing lately, and life does seem to be getting more and more challenging with each new dawn! Yes, fate had a bit to do with the whole scenario, but mostly it was the choices I made in the last few months.

Ah, yes... choices... How do you know if your choices are good ones, right ones? Or what the outcomes of your choices will be? I believe that is the biggest challenge of life itself- the choices you have to make and then live with.

As a wise man once said, "Experience is the worst teacher; It gives the lesson after the test."
How true.

-JB

Erase and Rewind...?

I read the most interesting quote today by some guy called Robert Quillen. It goes:

"Character is defined by what you stand for. Reputation by what you fall for."

Is that true, or what?!

Throughout our lives after the age of thirteen, I guess, we evolve on a daily basis into whom we are to the world, to the people who know us or know of us. Our outlooks, perceptions, ideas, likes, dislikes, all become defined with the passage of time depending on our absorbtion and interaction with our world. How true then to say that our characters are defined by what we stand for and believe in, while at the same time our reputations develop with our falls and poor choices in life.

Be strong always,

-JB

2006... here i come!

Hello people!!!

Gosh... i've totally neglected my blog, haven't I?!

The truth be told, wrapping up 2005 was a hard and tedious process.

Life took me through many twists and turns, and there were moments when i feared the worst, and prayed for the best outcomes... but all's well that ends well, right?

Well, 2006 is here with a BANG! and although there were tons of 'downs' that were down in the dumps... I noticed that the few 'ups' that I found along the way were beautifully invigorating and rejuvenating. There were simple moments, small things which made me feel so lucky to be alive and well.

And this is my message to you today: Enjoy life as it comes.
It's never going to be perfect, so why burn your blood trying to make it perfect?!

-JB

Just Like A Prayer

Hi,

Haven't written much lately... I was suffering from some new and improved version of 'writer's block', in which the symptoms happened to be that while I searched for words to read ( as in, books), but avoided to write any(not even one decent paragraph!)!

Adding to this state of mental procrastination was the tragic earthquake that hit and very literally shook the foundations of my beloved Pakistan. The news updates on the victims and the survivors were shocking. I was moved, pained, and at the same time guided towards the deeper meaning of it all in my mind.

It could have been me, I thought. It could have been my loved ones! The very thought of any harm coming to my two little bundles of joy can transform me into a madwoman... and yet women survived the quake only to find they had lost their sons and husbands, and siblings. A sad reality. Makes you realize all at once, that life really is not in our control; that there is a higher power controlling our fates, our futures.

While many say that the earthquake is a punishment from our Creator; I believe that it is infact a test, with a warning hidden in it. The test: face whatever comes your way; fight it to the best of your abilities laced with an iron-clad faith. The warning: you are a mere mortal, don't play God!

I pray for those who died, and those who lost their people in the devastating quake that hit some parts of Asia. May their souls rest in peace. Amen!

Don't take life for granted. Ever.
Take care, my dears....

-JB

.......

We learn new things everyday. We learn from our mistakes the most. And sadly enough we make the same mistakes over and over again. Life is not about living anymore, it's all about the survival of it. The existence we have depends on so many things, we are infact just a part of our own existence.

This has dawned on me today. I dont know why exactly, but it's there in my head swirling round and round in the nothingness that is my brain....

hmmm.... food for thought from a me to you,

-JaneBravo

Incomplete

"I go on pretending like I never knew you...
I'm awake, but my world is half asleep..."

-Incomplete
Performed by the Backstreet Boys

Yet another lovely touching ballad by the suave-looking backstreet boys. Ofcourse, they are anything but a 'boy' gang from your run of the mill 'backstreet'...!

I am in love with this song people!!!!! Actually the poetry is boootiful... a must-listen in dreamy summer rain kind of weather :) when you're driving around feeling a little loved, a little lost and a little lonely!

Check it out, please!

-JaneBravo