Why Jane Bravo?

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One dark and boring night in 2005, sitting alone thinking about life and how weird it is, Sarah Dawood/ Drama wrote her first blogpost as Jane Bravo. What started out as a private ranting space, slowly and gradually evolved into the current blog, which talks about many events, things, and feelings. Just like all of Sarah's other social media platforms, also about many events, things, and feelings --- Instagram: thesarahdawood | snapchat: thesarahdawood | twitter: @SarahDawood | facebook: /groups/TheCoddiwomple

Monday, January 25, 2010

Dearly Departed


You said it wasn't a Game -

But, then you said - I won?

Wish you'd taken aim,

And fired some gun.

I Hate something

About You -

My heart will no longer sing

Songs of You...

Eternal dreams

Will remain,

of sunbeams

And rain.

I Hate You

For who You are -

You were somewhat

Close to par.

I Wish this was Wrong

But it is True.

Guess I should be Strong -

Guess I should Hate You.
-JB

Saturday, January 16, 2010

Testing... 1 - 2 - 3...


Question 1 - How do we test our Breaking Point?

Answer - No one really wants to test their breaking point - I think.
I know.
I am sure - no one tests their own breaking point. I have never wanted to explore what can and will break me. I am pretty sure neither do you?
Yet we love testing (and breaking) the people we claim we love.

I guess, it's the people who convince you they love you. They somehow develop the ability, and think they have the right, to test you in inhuman ways. They know exactly how you can break, how you will break, what can break you, how long it will take to break you, how long you will take to break, and what exactly will play the final inhuman punches and blows as you finally snap, crackle, and pop before their very eyes, in a most human fashion.
I could use a variety of terms to describe what a breaking point would mean from my perspective, but I feel, "Ground Zero" captures the true essence of the term. Like, the twin towers were flattened to ground zero after planes crashed in them - leaving nothing but terror, disaster, destruction, ruin, chaos, immobility, pain, death, sadness.

Breaking Point?
No. Broken Point.

As I delve further into my mind and feelings I find a more complex and interesting facet to the whole thing: Although we set our own limits, we never test them. When the people (we love deeply) test these limits - we expand our limits for them - because we love them. Like a balloon that we keep inflating, it's elastic can only hold so much air - it will eventually burst into little pieces of coloured rubber. Like, a glass that is already full to the brim - and we keep filling it with more and more liquid till it spills over in to one great big mess. We give, and budge, and spread, and mold, and expand, and then some - to the point where we reach our personal breaking point.

Question 2 - How many times can you recover after a Broken Point?
Answer - I have no idea.

-JB

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Dancing in the Darkness.



'The most important experiences a person can have are those that take him to the very limit; that is the only way we learn, because it requires all our courage.'- Paulo Coelho'

We are all dreamers by nature - each and every one of us. Even the ones who deny that they have dreams, have dreams. We all dream of things beyond our reach, things which we know we cannot have, cannot own - yet, we still want to have them, own them, reach them somehow. And we pursue these dreams like a trout swimming against the current - using every bit of our will, our strength, our courage. We spend a great part of our adult life just dreaming - changing our circumstances, bending our rules, pushing our limits, fighting our battles - just to make a handful of our dreams come true somehow, someday.
I remember a day when I dreamt of things I thought were 'big things' - things beyond my reach... and one day, I got my 'big things'; but then I dreamt again, dreamt of 'bigger' things, things that were impossible - and so, the dreaming continued.
We don't realise that every day we spend on this Earth takes us one moment closer to our end - our physical death. Yet we live each day searching for ways to make our dreams come true, we waste our breath searching for days that will take our breath away - that is exactly how our Stairway to Heaven ends up leading us to our Highway to Hell...
And somedays are just plain painful; Like, falling and cracking your skull open, and still remaining conscious as they stitch it all back together, without any pain relief medication; because there is no medication for some kinds of Pain that you encounter in this Life.
Other days are hard; Like, cold, jagged stone that you are to walk on barefoot - in the end, your feet stand bruised and bleeding, and you are surprised you are still standing tall, even if you are shaking a little bit, even if your very soul is trembling from within.
And then some days are like a place where Time stands still - you feel dead. Lost. These are the numb sort of days. When you feel so much, that you feel nothing.
There are days too, that go by so fast; Like, time literally flies by - whooshing past you, and you try your hardest to stand still in the whirlpool around you, trying not to drown and be forgotten to yourself.
There are the worst of times - where you stand still in a different way, like a one-man army, not ready for defeat and disaster - just as if you were going through Hell, hoping the scorching whirlwind will blow away as fast as it can, before it turns you and all your Hopes to dust and ashes.
There are the good days too - the Heaven-sent ones, the ones you Live for, wait for - the ones you stand still through for a different reason; so that you can absorb each and every little drop and vapour of the joy, the bliss. You embody it, you embrace it, you commit it to your memory bank - so that you can dig it out in the future to warm your inner most Heart and Soul.

- JB

Monday, January 11, 2010

"Only Hope"


There's a song that's inside of my soul -
It's the one that I've tried to write over, and over again...
I'm awake in the infinite cold
But You sing to me over and over and over again.

Sing to me the song of the stars.
Of Your galaxy dancing, and laughing, and laughing again...
When it feels like my dreams are so far.
Sing to me of the plans that You have for me over again?

I give You my destiny.
I'm giving You all of me.
I want Your symphony,
Singing in all that I am
At the top of my lungs,
I'm giving it back...

So I lay my head back down,
And I lift my hands and pray,
To be only yours
I pray, to be only yours.
I know now - you're my only hope.
"Only Hope" is written by Switchfoot. I love the innocence in the words; like a child feeling loved, feeling happy. Trusting and loving - forever unconditionally.
-JB