Most days, it is not a good feeling to be a Pakistani, whether you are a Pakistani in Pakistan, or a Pakistani anywhere else...
I am a Pakistani - in Pakistan... We have pockets of different social cultures here, each doing it's own two bits, feeling (trying to feel, rather) superior to the other social circles and social cultures here. Each one is an extreme: too religious, or too blatant, or too modern, or too radical, or too relaxed, or too uneducated, or too educated, too rich, or too poor - the disbalance is obvious and it is everywhere you look. I feel like an alien in my own country in most parts of Pakistan. People are judgemental here - if you can't do something their way: it is wrong. It is OK to be diverse - we should be united in our diversity.
I am a Pakistani - out of Pakistan... The different religions, peoples, cultures I come across in places out of Pakistan are so different from us - their social and communal systems work - they respect each other within the fraternity and people who are from different backgrounds all the same - it doesn't matter if they are different: with different social beliefs, different lifestyles, different ways to do things - everyone does their own thing, everyone is happy, everyone is open to other ideas, ways - and no one is judged for doing something differently.
I am a Pakistani? And I don't know what Pakistan is all about... In a country that is full of such diversity - I feel sad to see the social 'wars' attempting to suffocate, strangle, and kill us all. We are Muslims in majority - and yet our religion is now all about extremes, what about the message of 'Peace'? Is that not the core of Islam? I am wondering now what to do with all my rich ancient Mughul history, and the beautiful progressive modern-day pop music that is listened to and liked around the world – we gave the world Pappu Saaein and Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan - did we not? And yet we are viewed not as a hub of culture and art, but as a disastrous nation on the brink of many failures, promoting corruption and disolving itself by itself; We have many things of value, from our world famous sportsmen to our inspirational Sufis, and their works - but we do not value all this - we only want to conquer each other, not the world! We could spread a positive image of Pakistan: if nothing else, we have a dynamic history that reflects in our landmarks that represent our national spirit, and how we can celebrate all our festivals and our holidays - without killing and traumatizing the minorities and our other Muslim sects. There is so much to 'show and tell' about Pakistan to the world - the values that we imbibe, and our age-old traditions, but we as Pakistanis have forgotten all this - we only remember to be selfish extremists. People here think their beliefs, their systems are the best - people who will go to all lengths to display their superiority - be it by killing minorities, or by not giving women their human rights, or by banning things for the masses but making it OK for the rich and influential to do the same things openly.
I am a Pakistani. And I live in a country which does not give a man the right to sue for the wrong done to him - because the legal system does not work. I live in a country which does not give me water in my taps - because there is a water-tanker mafia I have to bow down to. I live in a country where my lights go out five times a day - because there is no way to make the system work, and no one to hold accountable. I live in a country where children beg on the streets, where minorities are raped and murdered. I live in a country where people are abused in a variety of ways - but there is no legal system to help them. I live in a country where the VIP can get away with murder and also stop traffic for hours so that the streets are clear when he is on them. I live in a country where when I see a policeman or a police car, I want to run as fast as I can in the opposite direction - because they are evil and corrupt.
I am a Pakistani.
And right now I am wondering how to feel proud about it.
- JB
