She sits there in her sweat pants and hoodie, hair in a tight ponytail which adds to the throbbing pain inside her skull. She isn't being a damsel. But she is deeply in distress. She needs help. Wants help. She is asking for help. He isn't a bad guy. But he can't see it, hear it, or understand it. She just needs someone to hold her hand while she saves herself. She had done it all before, dug herself out of a seemingly bottomless pit, but this time she is exhausted and needs help digging. Maybe she just wants him to pull her out. Maybe she is just tired of being strong. Maybe she is thinking about giving up.
John Newman - Love Me Again [Official Video] HD by funjakob
Try to remember that when you are losing your patience with someone who is struggling with crippling depression. Don't be frustrated with them. Try to care for them, try to show them you care. They can't stop what they are feeling, and they can't explain it properly either.
When you tell someone suffering from depression to just "Get over it!" it's like telling someone with Cancer to "Get over it!" or telling a man with a broken leg to walk and run and dance, because the pain is just in their mind. But you would never do that, because you can see the Cancer test reports, you can see the broken leg. In the case of depression, you can't see what is affected, which parts are broken, or how deep the pain is. So when someone you know is struggling with depression - please be there for them and give them time to overcome the pain, heal, get strong again.
Most depressed people just need to vent what they are feeling. It is very hard for them to express what they are feeling or why they are feeling it. Try to talk to them. They are not playing games to get your attention. They are very scared. They may be on the precipice of suicide or self destruction. Not because they don't want to live anymore. But because they don't want to live with this "feeling" anymore. Listen carefully to anything they are trying to tell you, without judgement. They are very damaged inside. They are genuinely hurting like the guy with a broken leg before he gets the painkillers and the cast. Save them from the feeling of hopelessness.
If you see signs of suicidal tendencies, take them to get treatment.
Depression is a terrible place to be. People suffering from it eventually isolate themselves from others, because they are tired of hearing "Stop doing this to yourself!". They won't change, but they will stop "bothering" you if that is the only response you give them. Some people with depression are mentally very strong - this is the worst. They will seem calm and continue to do things which are routine, because routine things don't require much thought or planning. To you they will appear totally normal, living their life as if the crying fit from a month back was just hormones or something. These people are the ones you need to really worry about... this is even more dangerous than the regular depressed person... because on the surface you will see no signs of depression. But if you look closely, you will see they have isolated themselves from every possible situation outside of routine.
If you love someone struggling with depression please help them overcome it.
~ JB
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