Surviving 2007 *phew*

It's been a year of tests, triumphs, and lessons.

Experience is the worst teacher, I've said it so many times before, it gives the lesson after the test! And so, like two-headed Janus, I look back on the past, simultaneously looking towards the future, for a near-perfect present.

I'm going to call 2007 my "coming-to-terms-with-this-crazy-life" year. And so, I am making the following declarations- things I saw, felt and learnt in the last twelve months...

1. Family is the most important thing in life.

2. Children are the most wonderful, beautiful, awesome, and fantastic thing that will ever touch your life. This applies to Parents too. Thank God if you have your own.

3. Money can buy security, comfort, contentment and independence- thus, money can, in fact, buy Happiness.

4. Love is a Tango- It takes two!

5. Friends can be more fickle than lovers. Beware.

6. Don't expect anything, from anyone, ever.

7. Dreams are not reality. Don't live in them.

8. Reality is brutal. Learn to accept it, before it kills you.

9. Pain is important. It makes us feel human, real, and living.

10. Wounds only heal once you stop picking them.

11. Men will be men!

12. Believe that there is a Higher Power. And yes, all things happen for a very apt reason.

13. It is better to be trustworthy than to trust.

14. Better to be loved than to love.

15. Men are emotionally challenged.

16. Laughing out loud and smiling are soul excersises.

17. Looking good is an important factor if you're aiming to FEEL good!

18. Music is good therapy.

19. Dancing to music you enjoy is excellent therapy.

20. Vodka can sometimes be your best friend.

21. Passing out is never sexy...

22. 'Eye Candy' should ONLY be looked at from a safe distance. Because 'Eye Candy' is just a mirage, once it speaks it becomes the 'Dumb Blonde'.

23. Do NOT believe everything you hear!

24. Yoga DOES work... try it atleast once in your life.

25. Shoes are important. Love the ones you're in. Get the ones you love. You walk through life in them!

Hmmm... I guess that's bout it. Hope everyone reading this had a bearable 2007, and has a smashing 2008.

-JB

Heart and Nerve and Sinew

There are times when life leads us to dead ends on a one way road...

It is when you reach here that you are hit by the realisation that you have 'lost'. You break, bleed, shatter. You stand alone here. Your friends left you when you weren't paying attention to their tricks. Your enemies leave, knowing you are wasted, that you will fight them no more- that they have defeated you. You lie alone on the floor of your deluded, distorted dreams- with no strength in you, barely breathing, your head bowed, not to hide your tears, displaying your numb shame; frozen and blue.

You feel you have lost your pride, your face, your dreams, your value, your soul, you almost cease to exist in your own sphere...

Time heals all things, and with the passage of it, your misery thaws; And after the realization that "All is lost", you come to the understanding that you have nothing left to lose. This becomes your power. That is the dawn after a dark, stormy, painful, seemingly endless night!

" If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the will which says to them: 'Hold on!' "

So, when all is lost, and there is nothing left to lose, let me fight the battle one last time...

-JB

"Invictus"

by William Ernest Henley

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

Phenomenal Woman

By Maya Angelou

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies

I'm not cute or built to suit a model's fashion size

But when I start to tell them
They think I'm telling lies.

I say

It's in the reach of my arms

The span of my hips

The stride of my steps

The curl of my lips.

I'm a women

Phenomenally

Phenomenal woman

That's me.

I walk into a room

Just as cool as you please

And to a man

The fellows stand or

Fall down on their knees

Then they swarm around me

A hive of honey bees.

I say

It's the fire in my eyes

And the flash of my teeth

The swing of my waist

And the joy in my feet.

I'm a woman

Phenomenally

Phenomenal woman

That's me.

Now you understand

Just why my head's not bowed

I don't shout or jump about

Or have to talk real loud

When you see me passing

It ought to make you proud.

I say

It's in the click of my heels

The bend of my hair

The palm of my hand

The need for my care.

'Cause I'm a woman

Phenomenally

Phenomenal woman

That's me.

-I dedicate this poem to every woman who embraces being a woman. A woman who does not need others to tell her what she is worth, or how beautiful she is, and what she brings to the world.

-JB

The words of Ayn Rand

*Learn to value yourself, which means: to fight for your happiness.*

*I need no warrant for being, and no word of sanction upon my being. I am the warrant and the sanction.*

*I swear by my life and my love of it that I will never live for the sake of another man, nor ask another man to live for mine.*

*Pride is the recognition of then fact that you are your own highest value and, like all of man's values, it has to be earned.*

*Rationality is the recognition of the fact that nothing can alter the truth and nothing can take precedence over the act of perceiving it.*

*That which you call your soul or spirit is your consciousness, and that which you call 'free will' is your mind's freedom to think or not, the only will you have, your only freedom, the choice that controls all the choices you make and determines your life and your character.*

I read an article online - '30 things to do before you turn 30'. Interestingly enough, 'Read books' such as "The Fountainhead" and "Atlas Shrugged" was listed in the top five things to do before you turn 30! Why am I not surprised... The writings of Ayn Rand project a way of life and how to justify the life you lead. To feel at peace with your choices. If you haven't read Rand yet, I recommend you do so NOW- doesn't matter if you're over three decades! ;)

-JB

Abstractions

Logic seems like a foreign country.

My acts are all repercussions of what I am feeling. My sins are all crimes of passion. My thoughts are all clearly bright as I stare in to the sun. They are fluid like water, burning my mind like fire, yet contain an innocence of a baby's toothless smile.

I am flying because I am controlling my own reality.

I am not running. But sometimes, I feel I may be hiding. I prefer not to deal in lies. My pride is never foolish. I see it more as a virtue than as a vice. It is my weapon of choice. Death nor dishonour are not any options.

I get what is meant for me. Life is not based on circumstances, but on my choices. I always justify my love. I know my limits, and the lines I can not cross. I denounce society if it tries to cage me. I like who I am. No, I love who I am. I am not preturbed when people do not understand me.

Where I am today has been a walk through Hell. I am still going through it, but I have learnt to walk through it faster, confident that it will change sooner than later. What I envision as my future today, is not a mere dream of Heaven on Earth- but a belief; it is a reality- like a drop of honey that I can taste in my mouth long after I have swallowed it.

I feel loved sometimes, but I prefer not to love too much. I may attach things to myself, but I will never combine them with me. I trip many times, but I try my hardest not to fall when I do. I can fix myself when I am broken, but I do not like to be shattered. I do not like pain. But I understand how pain can empower one in spirit and in mind. I like to speak of my strength and my courage, not my past. I am highly reliable, and I have learned that it is not wise to rely on others, not even one's closest friends. I accept- I have stopped expecting.

Almost anything I do will be insignificant; but it is important that I do it.

"I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I'm out of control, and at times hard to handle. But, if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."

_ Marilyn Monroe

-JB

The Soulmate Theory

Oddly enough, discussing the concept of the 'soulmate' was never on any of my 'things to do' lists... But then one day, I felt I needed to probe the theory. Let's just say to get a better perspective on Love, and 'matches made in Heaven'... It's revoltingly interesting- the soulmate theory, not love. As far as my encounter with 'Love' goes... I'll write another day! For now, read on...

The Soulmate Theory has captivated the world since long ago. Movies like 'Titanic', 'Serendipity', 'Point Break', and many television shows and song lyrics have presented circumstances where soulmates exist in a variety of contexts- as friends, as lovers, and as companions, with an unbreakable bond.

Classically speaking, with specific reference to Greek mythology, originally humans were combined of four arms, four legs, and a single head made of two faces; but Zeus feared their 'double' power and split them all in half, condemning them to spending their lives searching for the other half to complete them.

(I'm sure that the majority of people will be unable to digest this!)

On a spiritual level, the concept of the Soulmate exists within 'reincarnation' and 'karma'- leading to the idea that soulmates have in fact shared previous lifetimes together. Suggesting, that the 'karmic' soulmate has a special influence on one's life. A companion with whom a special, 'beyond-this-world' connection is made.

The concept of the soulmate is primarily a romantic belief that there is only one true soul that completes and shares the other to become 'one', 'whole' soul. This is called the 'Twin Flame'.

Although popularly used in a romantic way, the concept of the soulmate is not reserved just for Love, but in fact also for the deep bond of friendship; Where the 'Twin' soulmates are the best of friends with the strongest of bonds.

Well, in this Age of Science, some theorists have come up with a formula that IF a relationship can be judged as per one's internal happiness, then one can possibly calculate which person in their life would be their 'soulmate'. Accordingly this, one person should, scientifically speaking, make you absolutely euphoric, and chances are you will not be content existing with any other person in life, except the 'one'.

Ultimately the consequence of the soulmate theory is the terrifying reality that soulmates often possess the ability to inflict serious emotional and spiritual injury unto their twin flame, greater than any other person on Earth could. Most people are destined for the eternal search of their soulmate. Few are lucky enough to actually find the 'one'.

According to staunch believers of the soulmate theory- "the initial encounter is often analogous to the collision of matter and antimatter, a violent explosive reaction will occur, but if held through to completion only pure energy, and thus harmony, will result."

I feel that it is then fair to say that if one does find his/ her soulmate, and the match is not acceptable as per the rules of society we live in, and are judged by, the encounter will leave us with a lifetime of profound sadness and depression as there is no possibility of resolution.

So tell me my dear reader, what would you do if you found the 'one', your soulmate, the one person on this Earth who possesses the inborn potentials that accurately match and complete your own?

It is believed also, that your soulmate is joined eternally to your actual soul, by a signature in your heart at the dimension of your spirit.

Will you ever believe?
I do.

-JB

Karachi, 12-05-2007

Independence is the most underrated possession in the world.

Karachi is once again bearing the brunt of the bloody rivalry between various political parties and government conspirers. In a matter of three hours, a 'rally' has been transformed into a 'bloody day'. There is an air of fear, shock and confusion:
- Innocent people are being killed, shot, and terrorized.
- Injured people are unable to be taken to the hospitals owing to the roads being blocked.
- A petrol station has been set to fire.
- More than 15 vehicles have been torched.

I am sad and pained to see innocent blood shed this way. I am sad that I am a Pakistani. I am sad that such an illiterate and irresponsible country is my homeland. The painful stories of those who gave up all to create this country for us, make me wonder what they would feel had they been alive today to watch us kill our own innocent brothers instead of our enemies...

-JB

Music to my ears ;)

Hey people!!

Hmmm.... Lots of songs playing in my head these past few days.... Mostly from the 80's, primarily reminding me of those brilliant 'limsical' moments that have gone by.

Music is a healer, you know. It keeps us in a bubble. Helps to soothe the nerves, and to calm our soul. Helps us ponder, and wonder- what lies in the mysterious future, what could have been different in our personal histories.

Well, incase you're in an intense mood like me :)
...Do listen to:

Brothers in Arms by Dire Straits

It'll hit the spot, I tell ya!
If not the lyrics, then the soulful twanging of the guitar...

Cheers!

-JB