Life Lessons, 2016

“Time has a wonderful way to show us what really matters.” 

- Margaret Peters

Here are 5 lessons I learned this year as life happened to me.

Keep your people. 

The people you'd fight for. The people who make up your life, your day, your existence. The people who are your people. The people you'd take to war with you, the ones you bet on and the ones you will protect with everything you have in you. The people you love in every sense of the word, and who love you unconditionally. They've seen you at your worst. Keep them close, love them, tell them you love them. Do it often.

No one is God. 

Don't waste your time and energy trying to impress people. Don't do anything to impress anyone. You don't need to do that, they don't care and it doesn't help you in any way. Focus on being yourself. Be yourself. Be honest, and kind, and do good things as often as you can. Be a better version of yourself every single day. 

Feelings don't need permission. 

You don't need to ask people whether you can love them, miss them, dream of them. You can do all that without permission. Just make sure they are worth so much of your feelings.

Crying is good. 

Grieve about the things that upset you, hurt you, scare you, tire you. Get it all out. Instead of keeping it in and letting it fester. The sooner you grieve about it the sooner you will be able to forget it and move on to think of happier things in your life.

Live today. 

Life is too short. Don't go crazy trying to plan your future. Planning is good. Secure your future. Save. Stay healthy. Be responsible. But remember to find a balance between doing what you have to do and doing what you want to do. There is no other way to do justice to this life. Don't waste your time completing a checklist someone else gave you.

Think Pink, Save Yourself.

Uzma,
2 years after being diagnosed.
She lost all her hair
but kept her chin up.

The nurse told me which ward Uzma was in. I walked to it and entered, I looked at all the patients but couldn't see her on any of the beds. "I'm here, Beautiful", she called out. I heard the familiar voice behind me, but as I turned to look at her I found a face and body I couldn't recognize. It was an old woman, various drips injecting her arms, and the tube in her nose to help her breathe. Stunned, I quickly put a smile on my face and walked toward her. I hugged her, softly, I was afraid I'd hurt her. "You didn't recognize me, haina?" she asked, smiling. I changed the subject. 

This is when Uzma's battle with Cancer had just begun. She fought like a true warrior, but when it was her time to go, we all had to accept it, including her. 

I remember getting the message from her one day when she was diagnosed with 4th stage. She had been at work and the pain in her upper back had gotten so bad she decided to get it checked. It turned out she had Breast Cancer. I always wonder, if only we had traced it before, would things go differently. Would my darling, beautiful friend still be with me, still be alive?

I'm writing today to appreciate Chugtai Lab's efforts to create awareness on Breast Cancer nationwide with a drive called #ThinkPink. This is so important, and we don't talk about Breast Cancer enough with our girls, young women. Which is why this step towards creating awareness and educating Pakistani people (men and women) about Breast Cancer and the benefits of early detection is a great initiative.

There are many myths surrounding Breast Cancer which need to be broken. As Dr. Sehba Arji, a Pathologist says, "If you're above 20, you need to examine yourself monthly". I agree.

We must never take our health lightly, as Muniba Mazari, Head of CSR at Chugtai Lab, insists: young women and all women in general, must take their health seriously, "Breast Cancer is a topic that is hardly talked about by men or women. It is because of this societal taboo that many women keep suffering for a long period of time until the Cancer reaches a stage where it becomes harder to treat that it would initially have been." How sad. Don't let it be you, or someone you love.

The Chugtai Lab Team at one of the #ThinkPink Karachi sessions

While I firmly believe that there is a time for each of us to go, I don't like the idea of "going" painfully. Uzma spent 4 years fighting the Cancer which started in her breasts, then went on to her lungs, then her liver, then her brain. If only it had been traced at an early stage and treated, perhaps my darling friend would still be with me, alive, healthy, and smiling that beautiful smile. May she forever rest in peace, amen.

Breast Cancer is treatable, but early detection is key. 

Check your boobs now, please... #ThinkPink

Error 404: People.

I'm tired.
I'm tired of stupidity. And mediocre thoughts.
I'm tired of fake gestures. And I'm exhausted with false words which lead to actions which are just for show and tell.
I'm tired of lies, of hidden agendas, of people using people like tools.
I'm tired of people who are afraid to fail, they will never learn to fly.
I'm tired of people who want recognition because they think they deserve it, not because they've earned it.
I'm tired of cheats and copycats.
I'm tired of people who try to buy respect with money, I judge them.
I'm tired of rich people who are arrogant and poor people who are greedy.
I'm tired of people giving people false hopes. I'm tired of witnessing broken dreams.
I'm tired of people not making up their mind about what they want to do, where they want to be.
I'm tired of the things people do just to hurt others because their egos are bigger than their hearts.
I'm tired of fearful men and women, who don't understand the meaning of living fearlessly, of living true.
I'm tired of seeing things done without passion, things which mean nothing, which are nothing, which will never amount to anything, and which add no real value to anyone or anything, ever.
I'm tired of time wasted. I'm tired of people stuck in the past, stuck in a place they can never get out of nor ever change. I feel sorry for them.
I'm tired of average experiences, which are a waste of money, which bring no joy, which amount to nothing more than a Facebook post, to show the world you did something, you ate something, you went somewhere, you bought something.
I'm tired of ordinary conversations about the weather.
I'm tired of below average work.
I'm tired of rude people with bad attitudes.
I'm tired of people who use their mobile phone while driving, there needs to be stricter punishment for that.
I'm tired of poor customer services, and people who break queues.
I'm tired of broken roads and late buses.
I'm tired of the feeling of negativity that most people carry around with them and distribute to infect other people with more negativity.
I'm tired of people who can't make up their mind because they are too selfish and they think they can have it all.
I'm tired of late replies. I'm tired of half-assed gestures. And when people say things only because they think that's what the other person wants to hear.
I'm tired of seeing people heartbroken because they dared to love something... or love someone.
I'm tired of people who are miserable because they were afraid to leave their comfort zone.
I'm tired of hearing about women, men, children being killed in the name of religion.
I'm tired of failed systems.
I'm tired of arguments. I'm tired of people who talk loudly but say nothing valuable or positive.
I'm tired of people who stay silent and become part of the problem rather than fix it.
I'm tired of labels that people give each other out of their own insecurities.

I'm tired of people.

The Freedom To Celebrate.

I remember some intelligent lady called Susan, said, "Independence is Happiness." I like that; possibly one of the best ways to describe freedom for me, because I was born with a crazy-fierce need for independence. 

Despite my lifelong struggle to come to terms with many things 'Pakistani", I am and will always remain a patriot. Having recently relocated to a foreign land, I celebrated 14th August remotely. And though I missed the silly boys, with their sans-silencer motorbikes creating noise and havoc all around Seaview in Karachi, pictures and videos of the festivities in the city and at Dolmen Mall made my heart happily go green.




As the city morphed itself to represent the colours of Pakistan, Dolmen Mall created a whole new flavour of patriotism with fun and festivities.

Dolmen, Pakistan's first international standard mall, has always pioneered every major national celebration, and offered something for everyone from any walk of life. This time their theme 'Dolmen Loves Pakistan' spun the concept of #HamariPehchan, letting people get into the spirit of Independence Day and celebrating their Pakistani-ness. Across three malls, Clifton, Tariq Road, and Hyderi, the Dolmen team rocked it like a true Green Team!

Ludo cushions, a chai dhabba, funky coloured peshawari chappals, flags, badges, and more... A weekend packed with patriotic glamour and glory... and everything green and white.  

Living in a time where there is so much uncertainty and negativity surrounding our identity as a nation, we wanted to celebrate the achievements and entertainment aspects of Pakistan which we are known for. These things are relatable to the older as well as the younger generation of this country and they need to be celebrated. This is what makes us proud as Pakistanis. 

- Anum Nadeem, Marketing Head, Dolmen Group 

 I loved seeing it all over social media, I loved the sense of "togetherness" in the photos people were sharing. And above all else, I loved the sense of freedom to celebrate.
May peace prevail, long live Pakistan.
Amen.

Coke Studio Season 9 - features Amjad Sabri

There's something special about Coke Studio Season 9, and I think this one will be remembered for a long time to come. It features Amjab Sabri, the world famous Pakistani qawaal who passed away tragically just a few days ago (may he rest in peace). In what is probably the last studio recording, Amjad Sabri together with Rahat Fateh Ali Khan read the qawwali, Aj Rang Hai. I have no doubt it will be awesome.

Although Amjad Sabri did not feature in previous seasons of Coke Studio, Tajdar e Haram was performed in Season 8 last year by Atif Aslam, as a tribute to the original performers, Ghulam Farid Sabri and Maqbool Ahmed Sabri. Amjad Sabri had also helped Coke Studio on this rendition. The rendition gained worldwide fame with over 33 million views on digital media. Speaking about his kalaam during the recording in May, the late Amjad Sabri had stated, “About 40 years ago, my father and Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan read this kalaam at a dargah in Karachi and 40 years later, Rahat and I are reading it again (on Coke Studio Season 9).”

“Coke Studio is the ultimate manifestation of Coca-Cola’s music strategy and Season 9 will further strengthen Coca-Cola’s cultural leadership, celebrating diversity while bridging barriers relevant to the youth of today,” stated Rizwan U. Khan, General Manager of Coca-Cola Pakistan, and added, “It is very distressing that Amjad Sabri himself will not be with all of us to see Season 9 go on air in August. His death is a huge national loss.”

The vast talent on the music direction and production side will be matched in Season 9 by a dazzling array of artists, many of whom have performed in previous Coke Studio seasons, as well as several upcoming and talented singers performing for the first time in Coke Studio. While national icons who have performed previously include the likes of Abida Parveen, Rahat Fateh Ali Khan, Sanam Marvi, Umair Jaswal, QB, Saieen Zahoor, Ali Azmat, Noori, Zeb Bangash, Faakhir and Meesha Shafi to name a few, the new artists include Shilpa Rao, Mehwish Hayat, Momina Mustehsan, Natasha Khan, Ali Khan, Rizwan Butt, Basit, Rachel Viccaji, Nirmal Roy and of course the maestro of qawwali, Amjad Sabri.

The unrivaled success of Coke Studio over the years in connecting deeply and emotionally with the people and especially the youth, is evident from its immense digital footprint with 6.3 million fans on Facebook, more than 170 million YouTube views and 7.5 million plus audio streams. It is viewed by fans in some 150 countries and has been exported to 20 countries. In Pakistan it has proved to be a unique platform for high profile projection of everyone associated with the music industry, including singers, back up vocalists, composers, producers, musicians and technical persons of every possible specialty, without whose invaluable contribution no Season could have been produced.

I was fortunate enough to see Amjad Sabri perform live twice in the last few years. He had an energy which kept the listeners connected to the words and music for hours, stirring spiritual feelings and emotions, moving many to tears. It is a sad loss for Pakistan indeed. I can't wait to watch the maestro in his final recording for Coke Studio 9. Aj Rang Hai, written by the poet Amir Khusro (if I am not mistaken) is a beautiful qawaali about love... 

Aaj rung hai hey maan rung hai ri

Moray mehboob kay ghar rang hai ri
Sajan milaavra, sajan milaavra,
Sajan milaavra moray aangan ko
Aaj rung hai...

And may we never forget the messages of love which music brings us, and may we continue to respect each other's ways of life and diversity in Pakistan.

Peace.

-JB

Orion's Belt

It happened out of nowhere. Completely unplanned, and unexpected. I would be sure I had imagined these hours, but I have the mosquito bites to remind me it was real, it happened.

We talked for hours. We talked about many things, about our children, and dinosaurs, and constellations, the pyramids, and loved ones dying of Cancer. We walked surrounded by trees after midnight, with nothing but sounds of leaves and insects. Sometimes our arms would brush and it was nothing romantic or physical, it was just very comforting. They strange comfort of knowing someone else is there, to hear what I had to say, and to share their thoughts too. That, in that moment, they would catch you if you fall, and you them. That they would let you rest your head on their shoulders if you needed to, that they would hold your hand if a sound in the dark scared you. 

It was weird how we met, and that is why I am sure it was an important encounter, because destiny works in weird ways. And I am a great believer in destiny.

What I can't stop questioning is how you can talk to someone for hours undisturbed, without knowing very little about them. Just hunches of who they are, of what they like, of what they are saying and what they are actually hoping you will hear between the lines. And you're okay with that, because you like the sense of existence without having to justify it.

What do you call someone who is by definition a complete stranger, but in that moment feel closer to them than any of your friends? And your mind doesn't want to waste time trying to find which box this feeling goes into... or why you are feeling this... you just want to go with the flow, and you go with it. Like diving into a pool of water just because you want to and you can and it will bring you joy, wake you up, exhilarate you. They are there with you, and you with them... and in that moment, at that time, you both holding the moment, you give it your attention and it is important to be there in every sense of being. Not final like the last meal of a dying man, but more like being rejuvenated by a cool drink of water after a long exhausting run. A momentary pleasure, till you are thirsty again, but an amazing feeling of relief and peace.

What do you call the calmness they bring to your life in that brief time? 

How do you feel without having any feelings "before"? Knowing it is just momentary, temporary - and there are no feelings "after"? It's just here and now. Life happening in its purist form. And you're not in a hurry, there is only so much you can share in this limited amount of time.

It's all so strange. But I loved it. 

The intersection of two completely different people from two completely different worlds. Almost like an eclipse.

- JaneBravo

Did you know about Camellia Sinensis?

Sounds like a sexy, naughty European... I know.
But Camellia Sinensis is the fancy scientific plant name for "Chai".

"Chai" is apparently a Chinese surname too... but we are talking about Tea today.
Tea - the most widely consumed drink in the world after water.

Mainly because I think Chai has brought more families and people together than any other beverage in the world. And because I believe there are two kinds of people in this world:

1. Chai people 
2. All the other people

According to some legends, it was 2700-something B.C, the wind was blowing somewhere, a Chinese Emperor was drinking a bowl of boiling hot water, because boiled water had been decreed (or something like that). Anyway... the wind was blowing in a dramatic fashion (as with all legends) and it blew leaves from a nearby plant into the Emperor's bowl of boiling water, and the water magically changed colour. It intrigued him, he sipped it, he liked it. 

This was the first unceremonious cup (rather "bowl" of tea). 

Tea (which now has more than 3000 varieties) started as a medicinal drink. This makes complete sense to me, because tea soothes me, keeps my digestion good, and keeps me fresh. The first cups of tea were made thousands of years ago in China - something like the 3rd Century A.D. The Portuguese in China had the beverage around 16th Century. From there it gradually made its way to Britain, and in the 17th Century gained popularity. It was the British that introduced tea plantations in India and set the traditions of "tea time" in Indo-Pak subcontinent. It's no surprise then that "Chai", a word for tea in many languages around the world, is derived from the Mandarin Chinese word "Cha". In colloquial Punjabi we use this word too, "Cha". And for some of us our daily dose of Chai puts the "Cha" in our life's "Cha Cha Cha". 

What's kind of Chai do you drink - black, green, oolong, white, puerh, masala?

 

Hope is a lie disguised as a promise.

Carl Jung said, "It all depends on how we look at things, and not how they are in themselves." 

We can see something everyday and still not be sure... like salt looks like sugar sometimes and sugar looks like salt. 

This is true and this is bad. Because we look at things as we want to see them. 

How we want to see them in that moment. 

We create the expectation, the hope, the idea of what is (but isn't really), or what can be, or what may be, or how it could be (but won't really ever be)... we fixate on these "hopes"...and rarely do we remember or see what it really is or really is not. 
Hope is a dangerous thing. Hope can drive people mad. 

Hope is a lie disguised as a promise.

“Hope is the thing with feathers 
That perches in the soul 
And sings the tune without the words 
And never stops at all.” 
― Emily Dickinson

And how can this possibly be a good thing? 

What was Emily talking about? Why do I want this thing in my soul, giving me an endless tune with no words? I want real stuff, stuff I can share, not imaginations. 

“They say a person needs just three things to be truly happy in this world: someone to love, something to do, and something to hope for.” 
― Tom Bodett

I agree with the second thing only. 

One is just a recipe for disaster, in my personal experience. Someone to love loosely translates to someone who will make you rely on them and then be the most unreliable person ever. 

And three, something to hope for, again too vague. 

Maybe Tom was continuing where Emily left off? 

Couldn't sleep, thanks for reading my midnight rant.

- JaneBravo

A Marvellous Meetha Ho Jai?

A cookie-chip chocolate?

Yes... that is exactly how I'd describe the latest Marvellous Creation by Cadbury Dairy Milk "Gummy Cookie Crunch"!

Chocolate is universally loved and is a known comfort zone. I attended the launch at Dolmen Mall Clifton on 13th February and got a taste of the new flavours, along with having a lot of fun at the booth and the tasting stall. The interesting interactive stall drew all kinds of people in the main atrium at Dolmen, some with kids and others bringing out the kid in them! 

As a wise man once said, "Balance means having chocolate in both hands", well... you can easily find your balance with Cadbury Dairy Milk Marvellous Creations. With Gummy Cookie Crunch in one hand and "Jelly Popping Candy" in the other. This variation makes your knees turn to jelly on a whole other level, like falling in love - but with chocolate!

Chocolate is really the perfect thing. You can't improve perfection. But I'd say, these two delightful Marvellous Creations, Cadbury Dairy Milk has come close. As the brand always asks "Kuch Meetha Ho Jai?" and that is exactly what they deliver.